M is for Machiavelli

A university professor I knew aptly described the academic world as "A bunch of bright people together in one place trying to destroy each other."

Now, if your academic assignment is in the music department, you know that the part about "a bunch of bright people together in one place" doesn't necessarily apply. But, as anyone who's taught music in college can attest, the "trying to destroy each other" part of the quote is a perfect description of what goes on in our hallowed halls.

Machiavelli would be proud.

In my experience at least, college music faculties tend to be made up of performers, and the people who hate performers. The professors from the more academic disciplines--music history and music theory--rightly resent all those performance majors who can never manage to get their butts to class. Who wants to go through the Hell-maze of earning a doctorate, only to end up being dissed by some blond, eighteen year-old flutist who would rather spend six hours in a practice room playing etudes than one hour listening to your lecture about verismo?

So, when they get the occasional opportunity to screw with a grown-up colleague who has a solid resume as a performer, they're loaded for bear. Recently, a pianist friend of mine got shafted out of a full-time appointment, in favor of someone who would have great difficulty getting through a public recital of any length. And, of course, the hiring choice was made by a committee of faculty members who would each have---you guessed it---great difficulty getting through a public recital of any length.

Quelle surprise.

There's an upside to this, though. Often, a performer who's been turned down for a teaching position turns that disappointment into an opportunity to re-balance his or her life. We realize that as much as we love to teach our art, (and as much as we like steady money and paid health insurance), the balance can tip to the point where we're not spending enough time practicing our art.

Realizing that you now have time to actually play the instrument you've been teaching is hugely liberating---even if it means that, at least temporarily, you become a connoisseur of the dollar menu at Mickey D's.