Monday Miscellany

What's In A Name?

Apparently, some people--Ellen DeGeneres included--think it's cute to name a cat "Chairman Mao," or some variation of it like "Chairman Mau" or "Chairman Meow."

As snarky and irreverent as I can be, I draw the line at giving my pets dictators' names. It could offend people, y'know?

After all, how would I feel if someone named their doggie "Franco"?

The L Word

Okay. I'll admit that I watch this trainwreck of a show. Far-fetched plot twists that are often left unresolved, inconsistent character development, and stunt casting that falls flat(coughAriannaHuffingtonSusanLoveSharonIsbincough) make this a mere quarter tone above the worst of daytime dramas. So why do I watch?

Four words:

Holland Taylor

Jane Lynch


Total pros, and hilariously funny in their supporting roles. And despite our twenty-year age difference, Holland can steal my scene anytime.

And speaking of Sharon Isbin, did they give her the guest shot only after a well-known--and much more comfortable in front of the camera--lesbian classical musician turned down the gig?

Just curious.

Tenure, My Ass

So you beat out a couple hundred musicians for an orchestral chair. After a year or two, you get tenure. That means the job's yours for life, right?

Not exactly.

Let's say you've had the job for years. Decades, even. And a new music director comes in and decides that he doesn't like your playing. Or you piss off one of the powers that be, and all-of-a-sudden you're told that the quality of your playing has slipped.

They want to go in a new direction, as the cliche' goes.

So you keep drawing your salary and your name stays in the program, but the audience starts to notice that you're never, ever there. There's always a substitute sitting in your chair.

What's going on behind the scenes?

You and the orchestra are negotiating the buyout of your contract.

Buh-bye.

Yet another reason why I find the idea of an orchestral career so appealing.

snort